Over the past couple of years, (check previous posts if you're interested) I've always taken time around my birthday to reflect on the past year...and this time of reflection normally starts about a month before my birthday...which...conveniently...it almost is. Ok...so it's a month from Friday.
I have to say, I'm impressed with my prediction from last year about turning 30. Shortly before (or even on my birthday...not really sure when the conversation happened) I told my dad that I would have a lot going on this year, and wouldn't really be too concerned about my birthday. And you know what...it's true.
Ok, so perhaps writing a post about my birthday, before my birthday is actually here is making a slight deal out of it. But the whole turning 30 thing really isn't affecting me. I'm kind of like "meh...whatever."
In fact, I'm so "meh" about it, and have been for months, that in many instances I've already been referring to myself as being 30 (in more circumstances other than having my age written on my leg for a race). I actually did this to my dad in a conversation a few months ago, and got yelled at that I currently was NOT 30. Perhaps my dad is having a hard time accepting that his youngest child is actually going to be 30. To his credit, he really doesn't look like someone whose youngest child is turning 30. And definitely doesn't have the gray hair to reflect having me as a child for 30 years. And no, he doesn't dye his hair.
So, for those of you that don't know, my grandma passed away on my 20th birthday. It's something that has both upset me, and is also something I don't really like talking about most of the time. And to be honest...I've most often been angry that it's something that I have to deal with. But I don't know if it's my meh attitude that's making the difference, or the fact that this will be the 10th anniversary of her death...or whatever else it is...I'm more willing to celebrate the life that she lived. And I have definitely been missing her a lot lately.
So, another Grandma Stein anecdote. For many years as a child, I never knew how old she was. We would celebrate her birthday, and I'm fairly certain that my mom would actually tell us how old she was, but Grandma would never admit how old she actually was. That is, until she turned 80. After that, she just didn't care any more. I never understood what it was about turning 80 that changed her mind. Or on the contrary, what it was about being in her 70's that made her not want to admit her age...but I wish I would have thought to ask when I had the chance.
So anyway...back to the present. It's almost a month away. And activities for the day are determined more by my training schedule than anything that I really want to do. So my plans for the weekend are to ride 110 miles on my bike, and to run 18 miles. (The 18 mile run is supposed to actually take place on my birthday). In previous years...I've kind of wanted an "all about me" day...where we celebrate the Johanna. And most of this morning, I've been thinking about what I actually want to do with the day. And I have no clue other than I really want to make it to the team training stuff that weekend...even if I have to rent a car and get myself there...I definitely don't want to do the training that weekend on my own. But other than that...meh...whatever. I've thought about getting some people together to go to dinner...but most of the people I can imagine coming are also training for Ironman, so what an exciting evening that will be. We arrive at dinner at a late 4:45pm, and are all at home tucked in to bed by 8:30. Meh. I don't know. There really isn't anyone special to spend the day with. And I had thought about trying to do something with my mom that weekend...but training kinda takes care of that idea...and I'm not even sure she and I could get together that weekend.
It's not that I'm opposed to turning 30. I really don't care about that. And I am definitely not having the anxiety that seems typical of a lot of people my age. If anything, I had that LAST year.
So, if any one has any suggestions of what to do...let me know. Because seriously...I don't think I care.
Ok...a couple of other random points of interest.
1) I finally finished my book about Crazy Horse and Custer. And I have to say, I think both of them have gotten a bum rap in history. Custer especially. I could probably write a lot more about the subject, but I'll hold off for now...especially because most people aren't as interested in this subject as I am. :)
2) I will never again fear the taste of Gu. I was forced to take Dayquil (I currently have a cold) in liquid form yesterday. And, oh, holy crap that stuff is disgusting. BLECH!
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