Oh, how I wish, wish, wish this were not true. But alas, it is.
I've basically just moved back to DC, after having been on the road for nearly a month during our busy season at work. I, once again, ate like crap this year while traveling, but seemed to be in a better state of mind than I was last year...and it shows. There were a few issues with cookies. And fries. And cereal (of all things). But to prove that it wasn't the end of me...I weighed myself this morning, and I didn't even get close to my "wow, you really need to lose weight, like yesterday" weight. I didn't even break into the next decade of pounds. Ok, so it's close, but I didn't get there. And in actuality, I only gained a couple of pounds. Compared to last year, when I gained at least 10, the fact that my pants still fit (with nearly the same amount of room as before) is definitely a win.
However...
It's time to get back into the routine of living here, eating healthy, and working out on a regular basis. I thought that the transition to living back at home would be easy...but of course...everything that I *think* will be easy, ends up being a challenge. I went grocery shopping on Friday evening...and looking back on the trips, I could have done a lot better. Ok, I didn't do horrible. Fruits and vegetables were purchased. Pizza crust and Cinnamon Raisin Bread were also purchased. BUT...no cookies.
But I now have motivation to get back on the wagon. I went for what was supposed to be a long run yesterday, and it was horrible. I was dehydrated, and was definitely fatigued, and I knew that it was because I hadn't eaten well over the weekend.
So it starts today.
Monday, September 12, 2011
I have AWESOME Friends :)
I just wanted to give a quick shout out to everyone who sent me text messages, emailed, messaged, or commented. You guys rock, and totally made my day a lot better. I was really nervous about writing anything in general, mainly because I don't really like to share all of my personal stuff...but I'm so glad I did.
Today is a new day, and all of those frustrations are still there, but I'm seeing them in a slightly different light, so they don't weigh quite as much today.
What would I ever do without you :)
Today is a new day, and all of those frustrations are still there, but I'm seeing them in a slightly different light, so they don't weigh quite as much today.
What would I ever do without you :)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Frustrations
I've been having a day, and I wouldn't say that it's been a good day. And what put me over the top to having such a fine day? I realized this morning that I lost all of the cash in my wallet sometime yesterday. It wasn't a lot...somewhere around $20...but it's what put me over the top. Mainly because I don't have enough in my checking account to get any more out until I get paid this week. Which, normally I wouldn't need cash, except I was going to do a lot more laundry than I was able to do today. In fact, I ended up laying out the last 2 loads all over my apartment, so I would have clothes to work out in and clothes to wear to work this week.
So, I'm ok with the amount of laundry that I've been able to do...at least I already had some money on my laundry card...but still...frustrating.
The day, obviously, did not start out with this. I had a crappy run this morning. I'm still recovering from the cold I've had, and lets just say I was only able to get in a fraction of the workouts I was supposed to do this weekend. I'm trying to remember that I'm using this weekend as recovery/transition back to life as normal...but it's still frustrating.
Beyond that...lack of money, and lack of training...with now thinking about going back to school, and moving...with the added bonus of Ironman Arizona coming up far too quickly...I've been beside myself.
I'm so frustrated with where I am in life right now. Most of the time I'm ok...just certain days are worse than others. Today, everything feels like it's weighing me down. I'm frustrated with how tiny my apartment is. And beyond that, how much I pay for this tiny apartment. But I can't afford to move out of this tiny apartment either, because that would cost money too. To get out of my lease, and the expense of moving. I'm feeling stuck. And broke.
So, this is not normally a statement I would make...but could I please find a sugar daddy? Please?
And to top things off...who can I talk to about this? I've only skimmed over the surface here...into the land of anonymity...but who can I really have a conversation with about this? Everyone has their own stuff...and some of this stuff is too personal to talk to just anyone about. And I don't want to be a bother. And just thinking that makes me feel stupid. But that's the truth.
So, I'm ok with the amount of laundry that I've been able to do...at least I already had some money on my laundry card...but still...frustrating.
The day, obviously, did not start out with this. I had a crappy run this morning. I'm still recovering from the cold I've had, and lets just say I was only able to get in a fraction of the workouts I was supposed to do this weekend. I'm trying to remember that I'm using this weekend as recovery/transition back to life as normal...but it's still frustrating.
Beyond that...lack of money, and lack of training...with now thinking about going back to school, and moving...with the added bonus of Ironman Arizona coming up far too quickly...I've been beside myself.
I'm so frustrated with where I am in life right now. Most of the time I'm ok...just certain days are worse than others. Today, everything feels like it's weighing me down. I'm frustrated with how tiny my apartment is. And beyond that, how much I pay for this tiny apartment. But I can't afford to move out of this tiny apartment either, because that would cost money too. To get out of my lease, and the expense of moving. I'm feeling stuck. And broke.
So, this is not normally a statement I would make...but could I please find a sugar daddy? Please?
And to top things off...who can I talk to about this? I've only skimmed over the surface here...into the land of anonymity...but who can I really have a conversation with about this? Everyone has their own stuff...and some of this stuff is too personal to talk to just anyone about. And I don't want to be a bother. And just thinking that makes me feel stupid. But that's the truth.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Thursday Thirteen: The Airport Edition
1) I'm on my way home!!! I currently have no scheduled business trips, and at last count, will not for a while. I'll be going home to an empty kitchen, and a lot of cleaning to do. But life is returning to "normal."
2) I have a massive craving for sushi.
3) I am in desperate need of a manicure/pedicure. Fortunately, I have scheduled a trip to get both on Monday. A belated birthday present for a friend.
4) As if this wasn't news before, but my BFF is awesome, and always knows the right thing to say.
5) For as much as I've been traveling this past month, I actually have had a decent time. I haven't been working 6 days a week, and all of the sessions that I have delivered have went really well. To the point where people have told me during every session that I'm doing an excellent job. I love hearing that :)
6) The previous comment definitely hast helped with tolerating the travel this year.
7) Along with the fact that I have awesome friends who have been uber supportive.
8) I have to say, life is going pretty darn good right now. I have my moments of freaking out, and worrying, etc...but at the end of day...I know things will work out.
9) I am occasionally appalled at the housing prices in DC. In the past week, I've been re-introduced to housing costs (both rental and purchase) in Middle America...and I'm jealous. Really jealous.
10) I wonder how late I'll actually get home tonight. My flight lands at 8:30. My guess is 10pm.
11) I would like to throw my suitcase out the window. It's been traveling for 2 years now, and it's definitely well past it's prime. It needs to be retired.
12) Did I mention I have a craving for sushi?
13) And that I get to sleep in my own bed tonight? Because I do. All night long. And I'll be sleeping there again tomorrow night, and the night after. It's a glorious thing.
2) I have a massive craving for sushi.
3) I am in desperate need of a manicure/pedicure. Fortunately, I have scheduled a trip to get both on Monday. A belated birthday present for a friend.
4) As if this wasn't news before, but my BFF is awesome, and always knows the right thing to say.
5) For as much as I've been traveling this past month, I actually have had a decent time. I haven't been working 6 days a week, and all of the sessions that I have delivered have went really well. To the point where people have told me during every session that I'm doing an excellent job. I love hearing that :)
6) The previous comment definitely hast helped with tolerating the travel this year.
7) Along with the fact that I have awesome friends who have been uber supportive.
8) I have to say, life is going pretty darn good right now. I have my moments of freaking out, and worrying, etc...but at the end of day...I know things will work out.
9) I am occasionally appalled at the housing prices in DC. In the past week, I've been re-introduced to housing costs (both rental and purchase) in Middle America...and I'm jealous. Really jealous.
10) I wonder how late I'll actually get home tonight. My flight lands at 8:30. My guess is 10pm.
11) I would like to throw my suitcase out the window. It's been traveling for 2 years now, and it's definitely well past it's prime. It needs to be retired.
12) Did I mention I have a craving for sushi?
13) And that I get to sleep in my own bed tonight? Because I do. All night long. And I'll be sleeping there again tomorrow night, and the night after. It's a glorious thing.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Some Thoughts on Turning 30
Over the past couple of years, (check previous posts if you're interested) I've always taken time around my birthday to reflect on the past year...and this time of reflection normally starts about a month before my birthday...which...conveniently...it almost is. Ok...so it's a month from Friday.
I have to say, I'm impressed with my prediction from last year about turning 30. Shortly before (or even on my birthday...not really sure when the conversation happened) I told my dad that I would have a lot going on this year, and wouldn't really be too concerned about my birthday. And you know what...it's true.
Ok, so perhaps writing a post about my birthday, before my birthday is actually here is making a slight deal out of it. But the whole turning 30 thing really isn't affecting me. I'm kind of like "meh...whatever."
In fact, I'm so "meh" about it, and have been for months, that in many instances I've already been referring to myself as being 30 (in more circumstances other than having my age written on my leg for a race). I actually did this to my dad in a conversation a few months ago, and got yelled at that I currently was NOT 30. Perhaps my dad is having a hard time accepting that his youngest child is actually going to be 30. To his credit, he really doesn't look like someone whose youngest child is turning 30. And definitely doesn't have the gray hair to reflect having me as a child for 30 years. And no, he doesn't dye his hair.
So, for those of you that don't know, my grandma passed away on my 20th birthday. It's something that has both upset me, and is also something I don't really like talking about most of the time. And to be honest...I've most often been angry that it's something that I have to deal with. But I don't know if it's my meh attitude that's making the difference, or the fact that this will be the 10th anniversary of her death...or whatever else it is...I'm more willing to celebrate the life that she lived. And I have definitely been missing her a lot lately.
So, another Grandma Stein anecdote. For many years as a child, I never knew how old she was. We would celebrate her birthday, and I'm fairly certain that my mom would actually tell us how old she was, but Grandma would never admit how old she actually was. That is, until she turned 80. After that, she just didn't care any more. I never understood what it was about turning 80 that changed her mind. Or on the contrary, what it was about being in her 70's that made her not want to admit her age...but I wish I would have thought to ask when I had the chance.
So anyway...back to the present. It's almost a month away. And activities for the day are determined more by my training schedule than anything that I really want to do. So my plans for the weekend are to ride 110 miles on my bike, and to run 18 miles. (The 18 mile run is supposed to actually take place on my birthday). In previous years...I've kind of wanted an "all about me" day...where we celebrate the Johanna. And most of this morning, I've been thinking about what I actually want to do with the day. And I have no clue other than I really want to make it to the team training stuff that weekend...even if I have to rent a car and get myself there...I definitely don't want to do the training that weekend on my own. But other than that...meh...whatever. I've thought about getting some people together to go to dinner...but most of the people I can imagine coming are also training for Ironman, so what an exciting evening that will be. We arrive at dinner at a late 4:45pm, and are all at home tucked in to bed by 8:30. Meh. I don't know. There really isn't anyone special to spend the day with. And I had thought about trying to do something with my mom that weekend...but training kinda takes care of that idea...and I'm not even sure she and I could get together that weekend.
It's not that I'm opposed to turning 30. I really don't care about that. And I am definitely not having the anxiety that seems typical of a lot of people my age. If anything, I had that LAST year.
So, if any one has any suggestions of what to do...let me know. Because seriously...I don't think I care.
Ok...a couple of other random points of interest.
1) I finally finished my book about Crazy Horse and Custer. And I have to say, I think both of them have gotten a bum rap in history. Custer especially. I could probably write a lot more about the subject, but I'll hold off for now...especially because most people aren't as interested in this subject as I am. :)
2) I will never again fear the taste of Gu. I was forced to take Dayquil (I currently have a cold) in liquid form yesterday. And, oh, holy crap that stuff is disgusting. BLECH!
I have to say, I'm impressed with my prediction from last year about turning 30. Shortly before (or even on my birthday...not really sure when the conversation happened) I told my dad that I would have a lot going on this year, and wouldn't really be too concerned about my birthday. And you know what...it's true.
Ok, so perhaps writing a post about my birthday, before my birthday is actually here is making a slight deal out of it. But the whole turning 30 thing really isn't affecting me. I'm kind of like "meh...whatever."
In fact, I'm so "meh" about it, and have been for months, that in many instances I've already been referring to myself as being 30 (in more circumstances other than having my age written on my leg for a race). I actually did this to my dad in a conversation a few months ago, and got yelled at that I currently was NOT 30. Perhaps my dad is having a hard time accepting that his youngest child is actually going to be 30. To his credit, he really doesn't look like someone whose youngest child is turning 30. And definitely doesn't have the gray hair to reflect having me as a child for 30 years. And no, he doesn't dye his hair.
So, for those of you that don't know, my grandma passed away on my 20th birthday. It's something that has both upset me, and is also something I don't really like talking about most of the time. And to be honest...I've most often been angry that it's something that I have to deal with. But I don't know if it's my meh attitude that's making the difference, or the fact that this will be the 10th anniversary of her death...or whatever else it is...I'm more willing to celebrate the life that she lived. And I have definitely been missing her a lot lately.
So, another Grandma Stein anecdote. For many years as a child, I never knew how old she was. We would celebrate her birthday, and I'm fairly certain that my mom would actually tell us how old she was, but Grandma would never admit how old she actually was. That is, until she turned 80. After that, she just didn't care any more. I never understood what it was about turning 80 that changed her mind. Or on the contrary, what it was about being in her 70's that made her not want to admit her age...but I wish I would have thought to ask when I had the chance.
So anyway...back to the present. It's almost a month away. And activities for the day are determined more by my training schedule than anything that I really want to do. So my plans for the weekend are to ride 110 miles on my bike, and to run 18 miles. (The 18 mile run is supposed to actually take place on my birthday). In previous years...I've kind of wanted an "all about me" day...where we celebrate the Johanna. And most of this morning, I've been thinking about what I actually want to do with the day. And I have no clue other than I really want to make it to the team training stuff that weekend...even if I have to rent a car and get myself there...I definitely don't want to do the training that weekend on my own. But other than that...meh...whatever. I've thought about getting some people together to go to dinner...but most of the people I can imagine coming are also training for Ironman, so what an exciting evening that will be. We arrive at dinner at a late 4:45pm, and are all at home tucked in to bed by 8:30. Meh. I don't know. There really isn't anyone special to spend the day with. And I had thought about trying to do something with my mom that weekend...but training kinda takes care of that idea...and I'm not even sure she and I could get together that weekend.
It's not that I'm opposed to turning 30. I really don't care about that. And I am definitely not having the anxiety that seems typical of a lot of people my age. If anything, I had that LAST year.
So, if any one has any suggestions of what to do...let me know. Because seriously...I don't think I care.
Ok...a couple of other random points of interest.
1) I finally finished my book about Crazy Horse and Custer. And I have to say, I think both of them have gotten a bum rap in history. Custer especially. I could probably write a lot more about the subject, but I'll hold off for now...especially because most people aren't as interested in this subject as I am. :)
2) I will never again fear the taste of Gu. I was forced to take Dayquil (I currently have a cold) in liquid form yesterday. And, oh, holy crap that stuff is disgusting. BLECH!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday...err...Tuesday...err...Wednesday Thirteen
1) So I'm traveling...hence the lack of knowing what day it is.
2) I missed all of the earthquake fun in DC yesterday...and am quite disappointed by this fact.
3) Every time some type of disaster hits DC, I am overwhelmed by the amount of love and support I feel. Yesterday afternoon, I heard from my BFF, my Aunt, and friends of my parents. My parents weren't aware because they're currently in Alaska and out of touch.
4) Potato chips and cookies may yet be the death of me.
5) Stupid hurricane. I really want to start singing "Come on Irene!"
6) I am impatient. And am trying to be logical. And the war between the two is not making for an easy week.
7) Amy's Gluten Free/Dairy Free burrito's are delicious.
8) I am proud of myself because I stood all day and did my performing monkey act...and really didn't feel like working out...but I did it anyway. I not only used the bike in the gym, I also did my strength training thing...which it's been way too long since I've done that. And am wondering if that is the reason for some of my leg pain lately.
9) I bought Icy Hot today...and that made me feel really old.
10) I wore a little black (and white) dress and walked into Wal-Mart. Yeah...I was out of place.
11) I'm up in the air about seeing the movie "The Help." I really enjoyed the book, and I think it could translate well into a movie...but I'm afraid that the actual thing will disappoint. Like they normally do.
12) I was literally freezing all day yesterday while traveling. To the point where I considered buying a stupid Chicago sweatshirt to help with the cold.
13) I went to the bathroom on the plane yesterday...and thought of Marie. And would like to let her know that I did not lose my skirt while I was in there. But I did bust out laughing thinking about it.
2) I missed all of the earthquake fun in DC yesterday...and am quite disappointed by this fact.
3) Every time some type of disaster hits DC, I am overwhelmed by the amount of love and support I feel. Yesterday afternoon, I heard from my BFF, my Aunt, and friends of my parents. My parents weren't aware because they're currently in Alaska and out of touch.
4) Potato chips and cookies may yet be the death of me.
5) Stupid hurricane. I really want to start singing "Come on Irene!"
6) I am impatient. And am trying to be logical. And the war between the two is not making for an easy week.
7) Amy's Gluten Free/Dairy Free burrito's are delicious.
8) I am proud of myself because I stood all day and did my performing monkey act...and really didn't feel like working out...but I did it anyway. I not only used the bike in the gym, I also did my strength training thing...which it's been way too long since I've done that. And am wondering if that is the reason for some of my leg pain lately.
9) I bought Icy Hot today...and that made me feel really old.
10) I wore a little black (and white) dress and walked into Wal-Mart. Yeah...I was out of place.
11) I'm up in the air about seeing the movie "The Help." I really enjoyed the book, and I think it could translate well into a movie...but I'm afraid that the actual thing will disappoint. Like they normally do.
12) I was literally freezing all day yesterday while traveling. To the point where I considered buying a stupid Chicago sweatshirt to help with the cold.
13) I went to the bathroom on the plane yesterday...and thought of Marie. And would like to let her know that I did not lose my skirt while I was in there. But I did bust out laughing thinking about it.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Luray: Take 2
Ok, so this wasn't a complete take 2 of the Luray weekend for me since I only relayed the swim of the sprint this year...but this race will always hold a special place in my heart since the sprint was my first triathlon 2 years ago...so instead of writing a full "race" report, I'll just share some highlights from the weekend.
1) Having the crazy Kiwi's voice in your head is NOT always a good thing. Shocking, I know. But Mary had been teasing me all week about taking full advantage of recovery weekend and only swimming 750m. So as we joked around on Sunday morning...we kind of stopped...and said maybe this isn't such a good idea. Karma will come back to haunt you. About 2/3 of the way through the swim, I thought "yeah, I could really puke right now." I didn't, but there were definitely times I wish I had.
2) I have officially been racing open water swims long enough that getting a love tap in the face by someone's foot, or getting elbowed in the eye doesn't really shock me any more. Not to say that it can't hurt. Or won't swell. But it definitely didn't throw me off course.
3) I need to buy a new tent. Let's just say, I'll be drying stuff in my apartment all week long.
4) Cheering can be as exhausting as racing. And definitely more traumatizing to your vocal chords.
5) Even after 2+ years with Team Z, I am continually amazed by the love, support, and friendship we have to offer one another. To be able to see Misha post DNF, smile, and say "it's ok" was awesome. And to know that even if you're having a bad race day, and getting down on yourself, there are about 25 people lined up to kick you in the ass and tell you to learn from the bad day, and move on, and keep having fun (or something similar to that).
6) For those of you that chose this years race as your first tri, my hat is off to you. Especially if you actually had any idea about what you were getting in to. 2 years ago when I signed up for the Luray Sprint, I had absolutely no clue about what this course was about to do to me. The bike course especially. It's definitely not the hardest course around, but I have seen great racers have not so great days here...and this bike course is no joke. But I'm pretty sure this is always going to be my favorite run course, in my opinion, it's pretty much perfect.
7) I felt a lot better about myself Friday evening after dinner, as we were all sitting around, and I realized that I wasn't the only one that had completely slacked off the week before and basically not worked out at all. Not to say that I am recommending this behavior, because my legs pretty much hate me after this morning's run. But I at least know I'm going to be in good company.
1) Having the crazy Kiwi's voice in your head is NOT always a good thing. Shocking, I know. But Mary had been teasing me all week about taking full advantage of recovery weekend and only swimming 750m. So as we joked around on Sunday morning...we kind of stopped...and said maybe this isn't such a good idea. Karma will come back to haunt you. About 2/3 of the way through the swim, I thought "yeah, I could really puke right now." I didn't, but there were definitely times I wish I had.
2) I have officially been racing open water swims long enough that getting a love tap in the face by someone's foot, or getting elbowed in the eye doesn't really shock me any more. Not to say that it can't hurt. Or won't swell. But it definitely didn't throw me off course.
3) I need to buy a new tent. Let's just say, I'll be drying stuff in my apartment all week long.
4) Cheering can be as exhausting as racing. And definitely more traumatizing to your vocal chords.
5) Even after 2+ years with Team Z, I am continually amazed by the love, support, and friendship we have to offer one another. To be able to see Misha post DNF, smile, and say "it's ok" was awesome. And to know that even if you're having a bad race day, and getting down on yourself, there are about 25 people lined up to kick you in the ass and tell you to learn from the bad day, and move on, and keep having fun (or something similar to that).
6) For those of you that chose this years race as your first tri, my hat is off to you. Especially if you actually had any idea about what you were getting in to. 2 years ago when I signed up for the Luray Sprint, I had absolutely no clue about what this course was about to do to me. The bike course especially. It's definitely not the hardest course around, but I have seen great racers have not so great days here...and this bike course is no joke. But I'm pretty sure this is always going to be my favorite run course, in my opinion, it's pretty much perfect.
7) I felt a lot better about myself Friday evening after dinner, as we were all sitting around, and I realized that I wasn't the only one that had completely slacked off the week before and basically not worked out at all. Not to say that I am recommending this behavior, because my legs pretty much hate me after this morning's run. But I at least know I'm going to be in good company.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)