Motivation

It's been a strange year. Quite obviously, this is not a new theme. But it's been odd...and not the greatest year of my life. But I'm hoping, as I normally do, that something good will come of all of this crap.

The last month, I've been on the road, training for work. I was burnt out after week 2...and since then, I've just let myself get even further down in the dumps. It's been so easy to let myself get further and further down, that I have forgotten what happened directly before I started jet-setting all over the country. I forgot that I had spent 2 months being sick and recovering from surgery, and what I felt during that time.

This morning while I was spinning, I remembered. I'm pissed off at what happened. I'm pissed off that my body turned on me, and forced me to lay on the couch for so long, and let my body go to mush. I'm not talking about being pissed off in an "I hate the world" type of way. I'm talking about the constructive pissed off. Where I use that as motivation.

What's been happening? While on the road, it's so easy to be sad and lonely and use the excuse that I'm tired to not run or spin, or cut my workout short. It's been so easy to use that as an excuse. But I've forgotten. Forgotten that I like doing this. Forgotten that I don't like how it feels to be fat and lazy.

So what am I going to do? Well...try to remember that I have motivation to turn things around. And not use the excuse that I'm tired. The only place that excuse is worthy is after a long run or ride. Anywhere else, and it's just bullshit. I just need to remember that I'm pissed off. Pissed off in a good way. I'll tattoo it on my forehead if I need to. And that will work. I realized this about 10 minutes into my spin this morning. I was at that point where I started getting tired. My legs were starting to feel it. My sit bones started hurting. And I was ready to quit. Just stop. Then I remembered. I remembered to be pissed off. And it worked. Well...it worked for as long as it could possibly work. But at least I finished spinning for the amount of time I had hoped to finish.

70.3...here I come :)