Yesterday morning, I decided it was now or never. I found the correct website. Entered all of the pertinent information. Gave them my credit card number, and my hand shakily hovered about the mouse of my computer, as I agreed to whatever requirements they might have (which I often believe may include signing away the life of your future children to some unknown lord among men from a country never heard from before, and no one would ever realize it...because who actually reads those things?) and I clicked submit. Error! Oh...why, yes, I am left handed. Submit. Confirmation page.
I sat there for a moment, thinking about what I had just done, what I had just signed up for. My hands were shaking. My heart was palpitating. And I couldn't sit still.
But, unlike normal, I honestly did not have the "I'm crazy, and this is a really bad idea" thought like I normally do in situations like this. Perhaps, it's because I didn't sign up for a race this time. What I am now at the beginning of is a journey and test of endurance like none I've ever encountered before. Yes, still not a race. I signed up to take the LSAT exam on December 3.
As with most things in my life, this was not done on a whim. Much thought had already been put into signing up. And I've already started preparing to take it. But there is that hollow, shaking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you actually have a date, time and location. But, to me, I have a goal date. Must be completed by: date. As with endurance sports, having that date is paramount. It's something to look forward to, it's a goal that must be reached. You must do the preparation to get across the finish line. The point that I've already been enjoying studying for it makes it easier to think that I'm going to stick with it. Who would have ever thought that one could be more excited to pick up an LSAT prep book, and read about deciphering logic problems than a novel. Well...I guess I'm just a nerd like that.
This action has come toward the end of a week when I have been thinking a lot about action. Doing something. Getting off the couch and participating in life as opposed to just talking about doing something. Don't get me wrong, I have been just as bad in the past about constantly talking about doing something, but then no action is ever taken. But really, in looking at things, it's been a while since I can recall something like that. I like action. I like talking about doing things, but I like actually doing them better. I understand that life circumstances sometimes get in the way, I've had a few goals of mine derailed this year because of that. But I know that at some point, I will make them happen, one way or another.
One of the things that has spawned such thoughts this week is thinking about a couple of friends of mine. One who constantly talks about doing things. One of those "I'm going to do this with you" types. And guess what? We never have done any of those things. There's been a long list. Berry picking, or a party at an embassy, just to name a couple. And beyond that, he's also one to talk about personal goals, would set them, then never accomplish them. And, as a friend, it's frustrating to sit by and watch something like that happening. Perhaps that's one of the reasons we are no longer as close as we once were. The other friend I mentioned is relatively new in my life, so I'm not sure if this pattern is there or not. But I started to see a couple of things. In an effort to communicate better, I told him what my annoyance was. It didn't go over so well (I think my point went over his head a bit). But if these things never happen, then what is the point of talking about them in the first place???
Maybe, as I get older, I have realized that I need to do something with my life. Make my life meaningful. Spend time with the people that really matter to me. Have fun, and enjoy life. Maybe part of what has made me have such strong feelings has been the surreal fact that I'm in the middle of accomplishing one of my life long goals. And I don't want other people to miss out on the possibility of doing something that would be equally as amazing to them.
So...next time you think about doing something, or talk about doing something...I urge you...DO IT!! You won't be sorry.
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